Friends, Romans, Country dogs, lend me your tripe.
Well, not lend as such. If you really don’t want to eat tripe then I’ll do it for you although please bear in mind that I can only get through a couple of hundred grams per day at most and my family have limited freezer space. But most definitely I will (indeed, do) eat tripe so you don’t have to.
If, on the other hand, you really love tripe then I’m not going to take it from you (please see the previously mentioned limited capacity of my appetite) and I can recommend visiting Rome, a place which appears to have humans who also see tripe as a delicacy.
In the spirit of ‘waste not want not’ I would like to assist The Tripe Marketing Board in their campaign to promote tripe. It seems that it is an underused, misunderstood commodity and I can’t see why you humans don’t love it as much as I do, but each to their own.
Rumours that I have plans to use tripe as fuel in a canine bid to enter the space program are false, though, as not even a Springer Spaniel can escape the earth’s gravity without mechanical transport. Jumping is out. Oh, and those rumours that tripe would be used, not to give me strength and stamina, but to provide gaseous propulsion are as scurrilous as they are false. No jet-propelled dogs in space fueled by tripe. Sorry.
There are other ways we can use tripe, though, and if you give me a month or two I’m sure I’ll come up with one.
It strikes me that I may have done an Ed and forgotten a couple of paragraphs of my manifesto. If they come to me later there’ll be an update.
In the meantime I would very much appreciate your vote in the final of #TripeDog2014 on Thursday 23rd October. I’m amazed to have got this far and would like to thank all my fantastic supporters who have helped to get me here.
Vote Shadow, Vote Tripe, Vote Freedom! (from eating tripe unless you really, really want to).
Notes: My Twitter handle is @SpringerShadow and this competition is run by The Tripe Marketing Board (TMB) Twitter handle @TripeUK Please come and say hello on Twitter. 🙂
The Wrong Trouser Leg of Understanding 